Whatever things

Lost

2006-07-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

I lost my mobile phone yesterday and did not panic when it happened. I did want to panic. I wanted to sink to my knees and cry. But somehow I could not. I have made losing phones a habit. This time I remember speaking to someone a minute before reaching home and finding that the phone was missing. Much hunting and running around led to no results.

I then waited for F to return and find it. Thats what he does for me. I usually panic and cant see things that lie just in front of me and he can find them for me. It is usually tricky to remain calm around a hysterical woman, but he manages. A typical conversation between the two of us sounds like this:

N (after looking frantically, EVERYWHERE): Honey!!! I cant find my spectacles!! Help... I am going to die, I know it!
F (calmly - almost whispering): No you wont die love. The spectacles are perched carefully on your nose.

OR

N (after looking frantically, EVERYWHERE): Honey!!! I cant find my dupatta!! Help... I am going to die, I know it!
F (calmly - almost whispering): *Looks behind me on the bed and calmly picks up "lost" dupatta* Looks like you wont be dying anytime soon honey...

Its sweet I know and I have come to depend on his "finding" abilities quite a bit. As a result, when the phone was lost and "unreachable" I figured I probably cant see it and its probably lying somewhere around me only. It was a classic case of denial. F was put on the job of finding my phone as soon as he returned from work. None of the "how-was-your-day?" or "want-some-water?" conversations for him yesterday. A torch was handed to the man and he was instructed to "search and retrieve". He searched and searched and then calmly returned to tell me that my phone was indeed stolen.

I plan to stick to my sasta-sunder(NOT)-aur-tikau phone now which somehow never manages to get lost (for very obvious reasons - its ugly!!).

Rain on my Parade

2006-07-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

Its raining heavily in the city of Mumbai. Somehow I am braver than I was before about it earlier and am among the few in at work today. This is a fabulous thing because it means I can post in the middle of the day without having anybody find out! Arent you glad its flooded in this city?? I can, in effect, seem like a dedicated worker while blogging at work. Things just could not get better I think.

In the most exciting news of my life - my second soulmate (apart from F) - Re - moved to Mumbai. The joy at this occurrence has known no bounds for me. Of course around her, I am quite restrained and not jumping about in excitement, especially after her boyfriend suggested that I have a crush on her. I certainly dont want him to think he has competition in the form of moi. He would stand no chance, of course, with me around - so my self-restraint is actually a special gift for him. I am sure if he knew, he would drop to his knees and thank me profusely. He is not a profuse sort of chap- but this act would reduce him to it I think.

In other news, soccer appears to have overtaken my life. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that it allows me to stay up all night drinking. Nothing at all. Instead of partying, I now insist we go and watch soccer at a pub. Much easier to convince the husband that way. Clever, no? Of course, I know all of three names in the soccer teams and usually root for the guy-with-braided-hair or guy-with-no-neck or guy-with-pony-tail (uh-oh.. was that the entire Argentinian team??)... Its the enthusiasm that counts! I will make no bets, no predictions and discuss none of the finer points of soccer playing especially since I still dont understand the concept of "off-side" fully!! All I will say is - have a drink and enjoy the games!!

Chiclet

2006-06-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

I was recently informed that mine is a chiclet blog- something you chew on but cant digest if you swallow. Something you need to spit out at the end of a read. While initially I was going to protest (and wildly at that) I decided that perhaps I need to introspect on that. Perhaps it was my 7th martini at the time, but I just felt too relaxed to wave wildly and refute such accusations. Mine is not a serious blog- I dont write about news, politics, football or even review movies. Mine is a blog about whatever strikes my mind at a particular point of time. Quite often it is stuff like -

1. Who thought of the word chiclet?
2. How did it become popular - this chewing of stuff and then throwing it out in case it created a mass of goo in your tummy?

Clearly, mine is no intellectual blog. Dammit! But this revelation has made me realise that writing for me therefore must not require as much effort as I have been thinking lately it does require. Its all about being bored and not having much else to do. Somewhat like that time I purchased a guitar when I had no clue about playing and it lies there collecting dust now. Let the party begin I say... I assure you I shall be more regular from now... watch this space (in case you are watching it at all).

Je Suis Desolee

2006-05-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

I tried the whole knowing of the 1st line of the songs on my ipod recently when its on shuffle and it turns out I suck at knowing lyrics. Madonna helped me with little openers like the one that forms the title for this post. Of course, its hard to tell why she is apologising while making such awesome music (can you tell i WORSHIP her?).

Actually I also wanted to mention that during a recent conversation with respect to job prospects at a particular organisation I realised I was perhaps less interesting than I think of myself. I think quite highly of myself and sometimes fascinate myself so much that I dont feel the need for any company whatsoever!! When asked if I had energy, all I wanted to tell them is that I have the energy to haul my arse back home everyday and curl up in bed and sleep (and sometimes stay up to watch Sex and the City)! Is that not enough I say? Sounds like an exhausting lifestyle, doesnt it?

I am bored, BORED, bored... and as I wait here for my friend to finish her work and prepare to go the gym where everyone (including the trainers) are waiting to do their point-and-laugh thing at me for going there percisely once a week!! More on exciting stories from there coming up...

Tagged!

2006-04-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

Almost a million years ago, Ekta tagged me and given my usual slow reaction to most things in life, here is my response. Since I am meant to state the rules, here goes:

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. You have to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

So here is my list of must-haves in the Ideal man:
1. He should be Parsi.
2. He should be most adorable.
3. He should love the water.
4. He should love the hills.
5. He should be very energetic.
6. He should have a crazee sense of humour.
7. He should love snowpeas (yuck!).
8. His comfort food should be "steak in wine sauce"

And since I am supposed to tag 8 people after this and I dont know 8 people well enough to do this, here goes:

F and Re have to do this 4 times!!

Its a features magazine

2006-04-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

I have decided to change this blog from a commentary on the story of my life to an occasional magazine on ramblings that occassionally enter my mind. Bear in mind that as I age, fewer thoughts will enter my mind (as has already started happening) and hence the frequency of posts my fall (as has already happened in fact).

At present I am on a diet and all I can think of is food. Everywhere I go, I notice food. I hear the crunch of chips that I was previously oblivious to 7 cubicles away from me. I find blogs of people who love to cook with recipes I cant try out. Not only that, for some strange reason, our maid took out all the recipe books the other day to clean out the kitchen and they have since been lying in front of the tv, as alternative entertainment! I now read recipe books and drool at the pictures of the invitingly fattening food for entertainment. Yes I know, tis a sad life I lead. I see skinny chicks and wonder what they eat (if anything at all).

The good news is that after 2 months of frustrating exercising which lead to no weight loss, I have finally lost some weight. I have miles to go before I sleep though and dreams of food will probably disturb my sleep anyway so hopefully the loss of sleep will assist in my endeavours to lose weight. Wish me luck and strength to keep this up. I assure you that I am not starving myself although I am eating only salad or soup for dinner almost everyday which among some communities may be referred to as starving oneself!

This is going to a be a year of discipline. 2006 will be etched in my memory as the first year of discipline in my life - discipline with respect to food may not last much longer given my hallucinations of deliciously deep fried food but discipline with respect to spending can already be seen by the fact that I have bought only 3 pairs of shoes this year! Surprising, isnt it? If thats not self-control and discipline, I dont know what is!!

Whatever Monthly

2006-03-09T03:33:00.000-08:00

I am seriously considering changing the name of this blog from Whatevery Things to Whatever Monthly Things. Lets take a poll on this. Tell me what you think my lovely readers (not you Ma).

In my defence, all I can say is I have been busy. I had a surprise birthday party thrown for me which was just fabulous. So many people and so much alcohol (I think there was some food there as well) is always a good combination. The especially excellent part of the party was that everyone felt obliged to bring me a gift and hence many gifts were collected (the gifts of wine being consumed upon entering the home itself). Many glasses were broken and, in sheer frustration, it appears, our neighbour tried to get our attention by whacking our balcony by reaching across from his with a long wooden stick (probably a branch of a tree). We were informed of this only the day after when one of our friends mentioned a vague memory of being hit by a stick while he stood out to smoke.

The exciting thing about the surprise party was that it was more surprising for the guests to have me open the door for them in an increasingly flamboyant (and loud) fashion as the evening (and alcohol) wore on, screaming as the door opened - "SURPRISE!! I KNOW!!". My poor husband and Re felt awful that I was getting increasingly depressed at the idea of having nothing to do on my birthday. So while I was complaining that I was getting late at work (even my boss was roped into the whole act) and that I had no reason to complain about it since I didnt have anything to do on my birthday anyway... F felt awful and decided to tell me to get home immediately. Besides, they needed all the help they good get since they had called all 45 people we knew in the city (and some that we didnt)!

Photos of the madness can be seen here.

Thanks to F and Re for just being the best friends anyone can ask for!

I have also been tagged for a Meme and that shall be my next post.

Another Wedding

2006-02-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in the previous post (which you probably did not read), I attended another very close friend's wedding in Delhi earlier this month. Now, going to Delhi is always fun and as usual I have stories to tell again. But before I do that, let me recount the 7 most favourite moments from the wedding for posterity -

1. The time the bride refused to remove the rather enormous looking hairdo even after the ceremony was over (and she had changed into her pyjamas!!)..
2. Butter-scotch ice-cream in the middle of the night..
3. The bride looking crest-fallen before the wedding ceremony as 2 bindis fell off her forehead..
4. Running to get kaleera's (for those of you who dont know, in Punjabi weddings the bride is given charms that are tied to her bangles as good wishes from close friends and family) at the last minute..
5. Mehendi..
6. Taking blurry photos (AGAIN), thus making me say to EVERYONE who posed for photos "err.. once more please... this one's a little blurry"...
7. Referring to P's friend by her sisters name, even after being corrected (repeatedly!)..

I also made a new friend in a 2 year old niece of the bride. Now you may think that 2 year olds are annoying and that was my opinion of them too (unless of course its a meeting of a few fleeting moments, in which case I ADORE 2 year olds). But this was a surprisingly mature 2 year old. She was able to understand and not throw a tantrum about why she could not go to the garden and play when a particular ceremony was on. Impressive. I am quite sure I would have thrown myself on the floor and demanded to be taken to the garden, if I was in her place. In fact, I would have held my breath till I was blue and then proceeded to scream my head off (much like what I do nowadays). Not only that, she actually liked me! Ah, finally a mature two-year-old who does not appear to want to sob uncontrollably at the sight of me (as is usual with such small people around me).

My mother also participated in the wedding by reprimanding people into eating the wonderful food at the wedding itself. Thankfully, she also made herself useful by relieving us of our duty of standing guard with the gifts in the room at the back when one particularly exciting bit of the wedding was going on. As we ran out, I was afraid my sari was going to become a part of the carpet by disintegrating and fortunately for me, that never happened. All in all, it was a brilliant wedding with the bride running helter-skelter organising everything and scolding everything into perfection.

Sporadic

2006-02-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

Clearly I am not blogging as regularly as I should but I must present my defense:

1. I went to Bahrain again for a few days (photos to follow shortly, stories to follow immediately),
2. I went to Delhi for another friends wedding,
3. My birthday just went by (wish me people!!)
4. I was lazy..
5. I was busy...
6. My birthday just went by (didnt I say that already?)

Watch this space for some exciting (NOT) stories!!

Paper

2006-01-15T21:22:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, we have completed a year since we officially vowed in the presence of what appeared to be a million people along with TV cameras, beaming our faces "live across continents" (I exaggerate a little) to be husband and wife. I am yet to figure out how things changed on that day apart from the fact that I now had an additional family to call my own.

I would like to say something sappy at this juncture but I really cannot think of much. F and I spend a lovely weekend (along with the occasional cockroach in our room) away from the city. It was lovely and the idea that I almost beat F at Uno was probably one of the most exciting moments of our relationship. That said, I want to thank F for a wonderful year gone by especially the following (itemised for easy reference at a future date, if required for any gratefulness-related emergency):

1. For coming to Delhi when my mother broke her ankles and pretended to be fine fine fine...
2. For following me around the house picking up the trail of clothes, trash that I may leave behind..
3. For making soup when I was unwell (and getting the recipe from V)..
4. For not screaming at me (too much) when I locked you in the house..
5. For driving to the office with food when I was working late..
6. For leaving the boring concert sooner than expected...
7. For staying in the fun concert longer than expected..
8. For holding my hand and taking me into the sea (and not drowning me in it)...
9. For wondering why the woman in the cola ad was thanking Mr. Bean...
10. For forgetting everyones names and pretending to remember them by saying "aaha..." everytime an unfamiliar name was spoken..
11. For telling the man from Timbuctoo he "really shouldnt have" come all the way for our wedding..
12. For pretending that swimming (read splashing about in the pool) for hours with occasional breaks for beers is the best exercise we can get...
13. For being the best cooking partner (read person who does not complain when food is burnt right into the cooking utensils)...
14. For pretending to be Punjabi and insisting on saying "Balle Balle te Shava Shava" everytime you didnt have much to say...

There are a gazillion other items that I can thank you for but I am at work and must pretend to get something done before someone else walks by my desk and sees me writing love notes to you my love (as have some 10 people already).

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Happy

2006-01-11T00:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all my readers (yes thats you - re, ma and f.. Thats about all the readership I have right now). Another year has gone by and I feel a little older and lot less wiser for it. I am not sure if the "old" adage that wisdom comes with years is really true because looking back on my life I feel I may have been a more mature individual while I was an adolescent than I am now. The following highlights from the past year may illustrate my point:

1. The shangria was so delicious at a particular party that my greed prompted me to immediately down a whole jug of it. I realised exactly 5 nano-seconds later that perhaps that was not the best idea. The remaining part of the evening was spent woozily wondering why the world was spinning out of control...
2. Being concerned that the old and practically blind maid that we have is stealing our cutlery only to find that I have carefully stored away large boxes of said cutlery in the loft (only to be used for cutlery-related emergencies)...
3. I refused to meet one of my best friends because she paid "too much attention" to her boyfriend... who, by the way, she was meeting for a week after months of separation...
4. I continued to watch TV as though its the 8th wonder of the world...
6. I took a gazillion pictures of our matching socks in London... and was indeed quite excited about the very idea of being sock-twins of yet another chaddi-buddy!
7. Maggi continued to be a proper meal for me... and now its enriched with nutrients as well (enough to provide you your daily dose of nutrients should you consume 5 packets in 1 day)...
8. I commented on every outdoor sequence in movies now that I can recognise locations in Bombay and frequently refuse to suspend disbelief when people leap out of Leopolds to suddenly appear at the Gateway - that leap would require several pole-vaults I assure you!
9. I gave up Scrabble because I have no choice but to lose horribly pathertically against F...
10. I have resolved to instead go for time-based word games like Boggle (as soon as I can find it in some store here)...

Bahrain

2005-12-14T01:38:00.000-08:00

I am in Bahrain on work. Thats what they told me when they sent me. I have realised though, after 2 days of finishing work before lunch followed by hectic socialising that the definitions of work are different across cultures. For instance, in Bahrain, a terribly hard day would begin at 8am and end at 4pm. I like this culture.

I think the people here are exceptionally friendly and the guards hand you the passes in a very endearing fashion by calling out to you as "ah, my friends, here are your passes". Come on now, you have to admit that is endearing.

What is not so endearing is the fact that when you hand in some dollars to exchange to Bahrain-y money, all you get is what appears to be pocket change (given the coins they hand you as well as 2-3 seemingly low denomination notes). Bah!! We are used to handing in dollars to the guy behind the counter and getting large wads of notes in return, making us feel like the king of the world, much in the same fashion as my good friend Leo felt in that ghastly movie called The Titanic. This is unjust!

I have also realised in Bahrain that my photography skills are somewhat lacking (to say the least). As a result, most pictures I have taken are blurry and only show the fact that I missed the actual subject due to my excited waving of arms while taking said photos. However, I am not ashamed of my lack of skill and am therefore willing to allow you to ridicule my horrific photo-taking skills by viewing them here.

Dissolved

2005-12-08T03:22:00.000-08:00

The Monday Club has been dissolved. After much enthusiasm and a few hundred pitchers of beer, the members felt it was too expensive and having fewer pitchers of beer was not an option. Furthermore, going out on a Monday was too much of an effort for the ageing members (an of course I dont include myself in this group).

Arrgh! My one opportunity to rule the world has been trashed! Dashed! Thrown to the dogs!!

Meanwhile, one of my best friends has fallen in love and cant get enough of it. Its like she is on a drug! So nice and yet I want my little space - as her favourite person, the one she couldnt do without talking at least once a day to - back. I want it back, you hear me young man? I am, of course, very glad for her but I already know she will get married and move to a land where the timezones are strange. Its like the country likes being awake when one is meant to sleep! I already lost one friend to a foreign land, another one leaves in a few months with her husband (London is snatching my friends away, give them back I say!!) and this one may leave in another year or so... Bah!

In other news, I have a headache that refuses to leave the warm and cosy place between my skull and my hair..... I am off to kill the headache or myself with immediate effect.

Countless Pointy People

2005-12-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

In case both of my readers (including myself) were wondering where I have been lately, I would like to tell you the story behind my disappearance from the world of blogging. It was one of my closest friends wedding. I was away and enjoying myself being introduced to all and sundry as "the bride's best friend". It is a privileged position to hold I tell you. I got to take annoying pictures of her (and with her) and pointed and laughed at her silly behaviour throughout. Not only that I further aggravated the tense bride by repeatedly wondering why she was tense because I "remember having so much fun at my wedding" (NOT).

The thing about human memory is that we tend to remember the good parts (if you are optimistic... you are obviously likely to remember all the bad parts if you are a manic-depressive sort) and forget the bad parts of certain events in our lives. Child-birth for instance tends to evoke such happy, emotional responses from mothers who have left the experience behind them. However, from what I see on TV (and I do watch a LOT of TV) it does not appear to be a pretty thing to happen to anybody. Therefore, much like the mothers who forget all the pain they went through dring childbirth, I forgot all the tension at the time of my wedding and only remember the fun parts -

1. My brother aiming the flowers at prayer ceremonies at my spectacles,
2. One of seven dwarfs (grumpy) making a brief appearance at the wedding,
3. F telling one of the gazillion guests when told that he-came-all-way-from-timbuctoo-for-the-wedding that he REALLY SHOULDNT HAVE,
4. Drinking pitchers of long island iced tea;
5. Doing tequila shots;
6. Reminding everybody of my Mumtaz-look and then having to explain to them who Mumtaz was by singing the famous song to them (in a very out-of-tune fashion for that extra special effect);
7. Laughing till I had tears in my eyes while all my friend got their mehendi done for various reasons, the foremost among them being the fact that my friends are clowns,

This wedding was no less and I am sure Sav will remember all the fun parts and just to remind her, those moments were as follows:

1. When we had to paint her face black with a purported face-mask;
2. When we got to pour oil on her hair (pity about the shower cap she wore for that prayer meeting)
3. When she very seriously told us that someone was asking very POINTY questions about her ex-boyfriend
4. (This one is priceless) When I mentioned an exaggerated number, as I usually tend to do, and Sav jumped up and said, "You dont know how to count... you are countless!"
5. When we drank ourselves silly at Buzz and she did her cool chicken dance with her fiance in public!
6. When I said to her (as she sat in one corner alone) that someone is getting engaged today and looking unhappy about it, referring to her of course and she jumped up (yet again) and said "who?? who??"
7. When the singer scolded us for not dancing and Sav proceeded to do her chicken dance in public AGAIN and this time she had people she knew around her!

Thats enough I think, seven fun memories for her and for me. No more, no less. I shall be back with Sub-Urban tales soon..

Goa

2005-11-12T05:11:00.000-08:00

Over the Diwali weekend, we were off to Goa. This clearly is an unusual practice judging by the number of "Really??-You-went-to-Goa-for-Diwali?"-reactions I got from people. Its like Christmas for us - Diwali. You HAVE to spend it with family. I guess my husband IS my family now so in effect I did have a traditional Diwali. Not only that, on this beautiful and unspoiled beach we even had some clearly psychotic caucasian travellers of undetermined origin who were walking into the water to deliver some extremely-toxic-yet-pretty (isnt that ALWAYS the case though - like with toxic waste sent to third world countries and Nu-killer power plants?) lamps. So in the darkness one could see sweet lamps (threatening the end of the world) floating in what appeared to be mid-air, but was actually the sea.

Of course, we noticed that in the event of a tsunami NONE of us would survive. The beach was populated with thatched roof stilted shacks. This housing would not survive a hearty gust of wind, let alone a tsunami. Comforting thoughts these were...

We went to a beautiful beach with a whole bunch of friends and some annoying people pretending to be our friends for the time being. On this beautiful beach, we watched the sea behave in a very calm fashion which induced us in turn to be much calmer than usual ourselves. We did not mind the fact that our room had the fan located just next to the door, so that all incoming traffic could feel the relief from the heat except us! We also did not mind the fact that we had the shower was located directly above the pot, which meant we had to stand on the pot to shower in a precarious dance of sorts ever morning and evening. We also did not mind (and in fact enjoyed thoroughly) the dogs barking at the cows (yes, thats right, COWS and DOGS also roamed this beach freely - very much like the rest of our cities in fact! This was an interesting phenomenon to watch - the dogs barking wildly at the cows who calmly watched the sea unperturbed by the frantic leaping around of said dogs around them.

What we DID mind however was the fact that our holiday came to an end when it did. And more than that I was upset about the fact that I had to wake up very very very early in the morning (4.30 am is still the dead of the night as far as I am concerned and not early morning) to catch the darn flight...

Monday Club

2005-10-27T00:58:00.000-07:00

Mumbai has a Friday Club it seems. I was informed that of it a while back and always wondered how I could be a part of this elite cool group. All my life I have always been excluded from the cool social / peer groups and instead been included in the anti-establishment (read sour-grapes-like) social / peer groups.

In school, there were people in Theatre clubs, Hostel clubs, Day-Scholar clubs and I was in the Editorial club. Not really anti-establishment really but it was not mainstream or cool either. Then came college and I thought I would have it easy this time. I had learnt my lesson from school. And yet, when Prom Night came along, there were those with dates at the party and those without dates in the Kela (Banana) Club. You can guess which group I was in.

Then came work and this time I was determined to be cooler than previously. Clearly the Friday Club would have been a good beginning but I never managed to make it. The cool people in the club appeared to be a tad too obnoxious. And in an effort to alleviate the boredom and sheer depression of Mondays, I decided after a Monday night of drunken pool and darts at a bar followed by teen patti that we shall found a club. The Monday Club was therefore formed. In the two Mondays that we have gathered, the following rules have been instituted under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol (bee to be precise):

Beers MUST be had!
New members will be subjected to a very predictable interview which will begin with introductions and a quick test of memory by asking new members to repeat all names. Forgetting names will not be held against anyone, but will generally provide amusement to the rest of us. We are sadistic that way.
Missing the dart board by miles is completely acceptable and in fact, preferred in most cases.
Running to the dart board, however, with your dart is only allowed for 3 founding members.
Missing 2 Mondays means automatic expulsion from the group. You can cry but you will not be allowed back into the hallowed circle anymore... hmph!
Monday before Diwali is our day off!
Please treat these rules seriously, or I will have to drink many more beers in the sheer depression of the mockery.

We have also given founding members titles such as Treasurer, Secretary, Security Council (with veto power) and President (yours truly). How cool is that huh? Huh?

And before you can say it - I will tell you myself that I am very very bored and this is truly one of the most exciting things in my life at present. I suspect most members will soon start wondering why the whole week is seeming like a hangover and figure out the linkage between all that beer they have on Monday nights and the hangover-like feeling that persists through the week. This will make them more susceptible to miss Monday nights and soon the world will come to an end.

Until then, bring on the party I say!

2005-10-25T06:48:00.000-07:00

Its been a while I know. The 3 readers I had have probably stopped checking if I am alive even. Well I am. Deal with it. I have been so busy with work that I have not had the time to breathe. But in the while I was away, the following events have taken place in my life:

I lost weight over the last 2 months and have rapidly put it back on just before I wrote this blog (like in the last 5 minutes)
One of my friends decided to get married. Now I know this is not an event in MY life specifically and must therefore not be added here, but really, must we be so technical about things?
Anyway, how this affects me is that now I have 3 weddings to attend in the next 4 months.
And while I wrote this, another friend of mine called to invite me for his wedding taking the toll upto 4 weddings in 4 months. Am I popular or what?
I won at teen-patti for a change. Of course, I only won some 50 rupees, but it was worth it I say.
I made a severely career limiting move by rebuking my boss at the said cards party (where I won 50 rupees mentioned in point 5 above) for being annoying. Not only that I handed him his 45 rupees change and all when he got exceptionally annoying.
I went to a beauty salon of my own free will in Mumbai and (I hate to admit this) actually enjoyed it! They asked me for tea and instantly won my approval and patronage for a lifetime.
I started driving exceptionally well (if I may say so myself) and got 2 stop-sign jumping tickets to prove it as well.
I started controlling my temper and the lack fo a third ticket is proof of the same.
I initiated a Monday night club, details of which will be shared in another post shortly.
I got a raise - woohoo!
I made new friends - yeehaw!

All in all, a reasonably eventful and happy absence from the world of blogs. But I am back, so watch this space now.. please?

Red!

2005-08-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

You are red. Living life to the fullest is
important to you, and you aren't afraid to take
risks. Crazy adventures are exciting to you,
and yoou love to meet new people. You love to
party and flirt, and you have a decent amount
of friends because of your personality.

What Color Do You Represent?
brought to you by

High Potential

2005-08-09T04:46:00.000-07:00

I think I have the potential to be a real pain. And its not because all the clients I deal with actually demonstrate their pain-worthiness repeatedly, its just that sometimes I can feel the pain my clients go through... and feel happy about it!

My company has a programme for such high-potential people... high potential to be awesomely cool in the system and not painful jack-asses like the rest of us! They get to go on a training programme, which to my mind is a tad ridiculous. They have the potential - you think so, they most definitely think so, so why not celebrate the very realisation? Why not send them on a pardeee to the Bahamas instead of a training programme to China? I would think there should be certain criteria for everyone to realise you are a hi-po-

1. Superior ass-licking skills
2. Flexibility in vacation programmes (cancelling vacation plans is a big to-do among my geeky friends in the elite community of hippos.. oops! Did I just say that?)
3. Supreme lack of other-things-to-do

For all this, I should think they deserve a break. Give them a party I say! Let them leave their laptops behind for a moment... or just let them take a day off I say!

While I ponder these very profuound questions, I realise the reason for my not being one of the people training to have even higher potential than I already have - my super-coolness for such things. My potential is so high, its not something that people can even see... I cant blame them for their short-sightedness about the whole thing. Although I am not terribly sad I did not attend a hectic training programme in China with some not so exciting food and not much to do in the evenings other than homework, I do feel its time I lowered my potential levels to a place where people can notice them, what say?

Gym Instructors

2005-06-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how gm instructors come up to you just as you start doing warm up exercises at the gym? "I think you should try this exercise instead.." And so from my usual head-spinning-shoulder-spraining routine I start a new one. "Yes yes.. now do this 10 times". But I already knew some warm exercises!! Why do I need to know more?

Having been through such instances a few times in my life, it came to me like a tire-burst in the middle of the highway. Gym instructors like to teach you THEIR OWN warm up exercises. If you have some of your own, they suspect that some other gym instructor may have taught you those and we cant have any of that in THIS gym!!

Having begun with my theory you may have now realised that I have actually started going to the gym. Primarily to lose some of the excess weight I have put on in the last 2 years to the point that people have now started calling me fatso! I will show them I say... but 3 days in a row at the gym and I still get tired at the very mention of a treadmill! But I plan to continue as long as interest remains. I am also on my own version of a diet - the watch-what-you-eat-based-on-how-fatty-it-appears-to-be diet. Wish me luck!

Moving on to Paris!

2005-06-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

So we left London safe with the knowledge that we can pretend to have visited the Buckingham Palace what with the picture of the solitary guard at the Tower of London. We were almost delirious at the idea, in fact (at least I think I was because I remember my lovely husband having a conversation with the London taxi driver on our way to the airport about levitation.. or meditation and maybe even sex... yes I think I was most definitely delirious at the time).

It was a short (and also cheap) flight to Paris. We would have loved to take the chunnel but it was a most expensive alternative to the cheap flight that makes you walk to the plane from the terminal (on to the tarmac and all) and walk right out when you land to the terminal (on the tarmac and all). Its a wonder that the passengers do not wander off to watch flights land and take off from up close... I think thats EXACTLY what these flights try to avoid by scheduling them at un-godly hours like 4.30am in the morning (or is it night still....)

So we landed into Paris and took a train and as soon as we walked in a man with the accordion was playing the French national song (you know that music that immediately reminds you of France, even though you have never been there? Yes, thats the one). How sweet... I tried not to notice all the ugly buildings we went by on that train, and the grafiti that adorned ALL the walls EVERYWHERE until we reached the center of Paris. As a result, until we reached the center of Paris, I wondered if some very rich delusional maniac had pronounced it to be one of the most romantic cities of the world only to be followed by all our delusional media and hence the popular delusional notion.

But as soon as we emerged into the center of Paris.. close to our hotel, I was awestruck. I had never seen so many gay people all at once! Apparently, we had booked ourselves in the "gay" part of Paris. How appropriate! It is after all Gay Paris! Cafes with rows of gay men appeared to be inviting us to sit and watch other gay people walk by.... Fabulous stuff dah-ling!

Buckingham Palace - Almost!

2005-06-07T02:13:00.000-07:00

Buckingham Palace - Almost!
Originally uploaded by fvariava.

Its been one long holiday since the last time I posted. I went to *ahem* London, Paris and Agde (in the south of France) for an iddy-biddy honeymoon-like holiday with my dear husband who has now fully recovered from jaundice. In fact, he demonstrated how well he had recovered by carrying some very heavy flooring tiles along with ALL the rest of our luggage himself across Western Europe. It was indeed, one of my proudest moments as his wife.

In London, we stayed with Sav and pretended to have visited the Buckingham palace by taking pictures of the solitary guard we found outside the Tower of London. Hah! What a dastardly plan that was. Now, even without having any photos of Buckingham Palace at all, people jump up and say with confidence as the photo of the lone guard is shown - "oh that must be Buckingham Palace". Here he is - very buckingham like looking, no?

In other entertaining moments, Sav and I discovered we had very similar taste in socks (yes you read that right - we own similar looking socks) and spent most of an evening admiring and taking pictures of them. With that out of our systems, Sav decided to keep her eyes closed for any photos we took of her. she claimed the lash made her blink and my efforts to hold her eyelids up also did not work. She refused to open her eyes as long as they camera was pointed at her.

Even though there was a conflict of interest - my husband wanted to shop while I just wanted to curl up and die because of the awful, cold, wet rain - we managed to find a compromise. I was left to sit grumpily at Starbucks while Firdaus ran about Oxford Street for the rest of the day looking for the appropriately branded clothes. I was quite okay being left alone because it was really not like being in a foreign country you know - ladies in salwar kameez walked by at regular intervals, as if just to make me feel a little comfortable there and I even heard loud hindi songs being sung by some very obviously Indian students. Could life get any better?

More photos can be viewed here.

Watch this space for more...

New levels

2005-05-04T00:53:00.000-07:00

My annoyance with service providers in general has reached new levels. Levels that I did not know could be reached by a single human being. And really, I dont think I can blame the service provider this time. We dont need for them to know this, but this time I my ignorance did me in. All is fair in love and sales I say. And I suppose my ignorance was only fair game.

Thankfully my severe lack of a bank balance have led to a mitigation of losses, so to speak. So now instead of losing a few tens of thousands on an investment that was clearly meant for clueless fools like me, I will be losing not that many tens of thousands. Phew! What a relief right? Not!

But perhaps this is not such a bad thing. If I wait a full 15 years, I may actually get a return on the money that I have, without fear. handed over to a bunch of apparent buffoons, thus acting very much like an idiotic buffoon myself. It reminds of the dodos who killed themselves in that move - ice age - where they ran around like, well, dodos, in order to save themselves from the end of the world and instead ended themselves well before any danger came near them. I ran around like one of those dodos wondering where to "invest" and ended up killing myself in the process. Yes, that sounds about right.

And for those of you who have better gramatical skills than me, please help me with the commas. Where should they appear? Here, like so? Or, here? Or nowhere?

Of Intolerance

2005-04-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

Brace yourself, this one is going to be a rant.

I cant tolerate it when people around me display more bigotry than I imagined they were capable of. Educated individuals at my workplace will not eat from places where food was cooked by people from a certain faith for fear that it "smells funny". Dude, for saying such a statement aloud, you most definitely smell funny to me. As if this is not enough, moving into a new office has meant that the lack of soundproofing subjects us to prayers via loudspeaker from a certain place of payer. "Thats scary dude..." I was told. I dont know how to react. Should I punch him in the face?

I also cant tolerate smelly people. While I know some people who may actually gag at smelly people around them, its not so bad for me. And yet, I cant tolerate them.

I cant tolerate uptight people. Just relax and chill. Now I know what you are thinking and some of you may even say it to me (But Nidhi, you are such an uptight person yourself!!) and I will tell you to ex-zzziiiiippppit (Dr. Evil style) at that!!

I cant tolerate pompous fools who think they are better than me. And thats simply because the mere thought of such a thing is prepostrous? Non?

And on that really boring note I will end my really boring post. Yawn...

Guest Post

2005-04-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

After Nidhi's last happy shiny post about marriage, I thought I would post one that is more grounded in reality.

Yes, I am easy going, but that doesnt mean I dont have my off days, my grumpy days and the same for her. So what happens when those days occur? You see a lot of fighting, whining, grumbling, bitching, moaning and general tension in the air...

But you know what? I think thats what makes the relationship stronger. I think if my marriage was saccharine sweet all the time I would have to kill myself.

As someone said...two people who are married are like stones rubbing against each other. After a while, the sharp edges get rubbed off and they get more rounded, more closely fit against each other. And thats the good part. Then you can go and kick other peoples ass together!

Or as this guy said in that movie with Ashton Kutchner..when you see a couple's photos album, you see the couple smiling and laughing and hugging. But behind those Kodak moments are lots of little tiffs and fights. The important thing is to make it from one smiling photo to the next.

And with that, I surrender this blog back to my wife, my best friend...