Monday Club

Mumbai has a Friday Club it seems. I was informed that of it a while back and always wondered how I could be a part of this elite cool group. All my life I have always been excluded from the cool social / peer groups and instead been included in the anti-establishment (read sour-grapes-like) social / peer groups.

In school, there were people in Theatre clubs, Hostel clubs, Day-Scholar clubs and I was in the Editorial club. Not really anti-establishment really but it was not mainstream or cool either. Then came college and I thought I would have it easy this time. I had learnt my lesson from school. And yet, when Prom Night came along, there were those with dates at the party and those without dates in the Kela (Banana) Club. You can guess which group I was in.

Then came work and this time I was determined to be cooler than previously. Clearly the Friday Club would have been a good beginning but I never managed to make it. The cool people in the club appeared to be a tad too obnoxious. And in an effort to alleviate the boredom and sheer depression of Mondays, I decided after a Monday night of drunken pool and darts at a bar followed by teen patti that we shall found a club. The Monday Club was therefore formed. In the two Mondays that we have gathered, the following rules have been instituted under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol (bee to be precise):

• Beers MUST be had!
• New members will be subjected to a very predictable interview which will begin with introductions and a quick test of memory by asking new members to repeat all names. Forgetting names will not be held against anyone, but will generally provide amusement to the rest of us. We are sadistic that way.
• Missing the dart board by miles is completely acceptable and in fact, preferred in most cases.
• Running to the dart board, however, with your dart is only allowed for 3 founding members.
• Missing 2 Mondays means automatic expulsion from the group. You can cry but you will not be allowed back into the hallowed circle anymore... hmph!
• Monday before Diwali is our day off!
• Please treat these rules seriously, or I will have to drink many more beers in the sheer depression of the mockery.

We have also given founding members titles such as Treasurer, Secretary, Security Council (with veto power) and President (yours truly). How cool is that huh? Huh?

And before you can say it - I will tell you myself that I am very very bored and this is truly one of the most exciting things in my life at present. I suspect most members will soon start wondering why the whole week is seeming like a hangover and figure out the linkage between all that beer they have on Monday nights and the hangover-like feeling that persists through the week. This will make them more susceptible to miss Monday nights and soon the world will come to an end.

Until then, bring on the party I say!