Lost

I lost my mobile phone yesterday and did not panic when it happened. I did want to panic. I wanted to sink to my knees and cry. But somehow I could not. I have made losing phones a habit. This time I remember speaking to someone a minute before reaching home and finding that the phone was missing. Much hunting and running around led to no results.

I then waited for F to return and find it. Thats what he does for me. I usually panic and cant see things that lie just in front of me and he can find them for me. It is usually tricky to remain calm around a hysterical woman, but he manages. A typical conversation between the two of us sounds like this:

N (after looking frantically, EVERYWHERE): Honey!!! I cant find my spectacles!! Help... I am going to die, I know it!
F (calmly - almost whispering): No you wont die love. The spectacles are perched carefully on your nose.

OR

N (after looking frantically, EVERYWHERE): Honey!!! I cant find my dupatta!! Help... I am going to die, I know it!
F (calmly - almost whispering): *Looks behind me on the bed and calmly picks up "lost" dupatta* Looks like you wont be dying anytime soon honey...

Its sweet I know and I have come to depend on his "finding" abilities quite a bit. As a result, when the phone was lost and "unreachable" I figured I probably cant see it and its probably lying somewhere around me only. It was a classic case of denial. F was put on the job of finding my phone as soon as he returned from work. None of the "how-was-your-day?" or "want-some-water?" conversations for him yesterday. A torch was handed to the man and he was instructed to "search and retrieve". He searched and searched and then calmly returned to tell me that my phone was indeed stolen.

I plan to stick to my sasta-sunder(NOT)-aur-tikau phone now which somehow never manages to get lost (for very obvious reasons - its ugly!!).

Rain on my Parade

Its raining heavily in the city of Mumbai. Somehow I am braver than I was before about it earlier and am among the few in at work today. This is a fabulous thing because it means I can post in the middle of the day without having anybody find out! Arent you glad its flooded in this city?? I can, in effect, seem like a dedicated worker while blogging at work. Things just could not get better I think.

In the most exciting news of my life - my second soulmate (apart from F) - Re - moved to Mumbai. The joy at this occurrence has known no bounds for me. Of course around her, I am quite restrained and not jumping about in excitement, especially after her boyfriend suggested that I have a crush on her. I certainly dont want him to think he has competition in the form of moi. He would stand no chance, of course, with me around - so my self-restraint is actually a special gift for him. I am sure if he knew, he would drop to his knees and thank me profusely. He is not a profuse sort of chap- but this act would reduce him to it I think.

In other news, soccer appears to have overtaken my life. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that it allows me to stay up all night drinking. Nothing at all. Instead of partying, I now insist we go and watch soccer at a pub. Much easier to convince the husband that way. Clever, no? Of course, I know all of three names in the soccer teams and usually root for the guy-with-braided-hair or guy-with-no-neck or guy-with-pony-tail (uh-oh.. was that the entire Argentinian team??)... Its the enthusiasm that counts! I will make no bets, no predictions and discuss none of the finer points of soccer playing especially since I still dont understand the concept of "off-side" fully!! All I will say is - have a drink and enjoy the games!!

Chiclet

I was recently informed that mine is a chiclet blog- something you chew on but cant digest if you swallow. Something you need to spit out at the end of a read. While initially I was going to protest (and wildly at that) I decided that perhaps I need to introspect on that. Perhaps it was my 7th martini at the time, but I just felt too relaxed to wave wildly and refute such accusations. Mine is not a serious blog- I dont write about news, politics, football or even review movies. Mine is a blog about whatever strikes my mind at a particular point of time. Quite often it is stuff like -

1. Who thought of the word chiclet?
2. How did it become popular - this chewing of stuff and then throwing it out in case it created a mass of goo in your tummy?

Clearly, mine is no intellectual blog. Dammit! But this revelation has made me realise that writing for me therefore must not require as much effort as I have been thinking lately it does require. Its all about being bored and not having much else to do. Somewhat like that time I purchased a guitar when I had no clue about playing and it lies there collecting dust now. Let the party begin I say... I assure you I shall be more regular from now... watch this space (in case you are watching it at all).

Je Suis Desolee

I tried the whole knowing of the 1st line of the songs on my ipod recently when its on shuffle and it turns out I suck at knowing lyrics. Madonna helped me with little openers like the one that forms the title for this post. Of course, its hard to tell why she is apologising while making such awesome music (can you tell i WORSHIP her?).

Actually I also wanted to mention that during a recent conversation with respect to job prospects at a particular organisation I realised I was perhaps less interesting than I think of myself. I think quite highly of myself and sometimes fascinate myself so much that I dont feel the need for any company whatsoever!! When asked if I had energy, all I wanted to tell them is that I have the energy to haul my arse back home everyday and curl up in bed and sleep (and sometimes stay up to watch Sex and the City)! Is that not enough I say? Sounds like an exhausting lifestyle, doesnt it?

I am bored, BORED, bored... and as I wait here for my friend to finish her work and prepare to go the gym where everyone (including the trainers) are waiting to do their point-and-laugh thing at me for going there percisely once a week!! More on exciting stories from there coming up...

Tagged!

Almost a million years ago, Ekta tagged me and given my usual slow reaction to most things in life, here is my response. Since I am meant to state the rules, here goes:

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. You have to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

So here is my list of must-haves in the Ideal man:
1. He should be Parsi.
2. He should be most adorable.
3. He should love the water.
4. He should love the hills.
5. He should be very energetic.
6. He should have a crazee sense of humour.
7. He should love snowpeas (yuck!).
8. His comfort food should be "steak in wine sauce"

And since I am supposed to tag 8 people after this and I dont know 8 people well enough to do this, here goes:

F and Re have to do this 4 times!!

Its a features magazine

I have decided to change this blog from a commentary on the story of my life to an occasional magazine on ramblings that occassionally enter my mind. Bear in mind that as I age, fewer thoughts will enter my mind (as has already started happening) and hence the frequency of posts my fall (as has already happened in fact).

At present I am on a diet and all I can think of is food. Everywhere I go, I notice food. I hear the crunch of chips that I was previously oblivious to 7 cubicles away from me. I find blogs of people who love to cook with recipes I cant try out. Not only that, for some strange reason, our maid took out all the recipe books the other day to clean out the kitchen and they have since been lying in front of the tv, as alternative entertainment! I now read recipe books and drool at the pictures of the invitingly fattening food for entertainment. Yes I know, tis a sad life I lead. I see skinny chicks and wonder what they eat (if anything at all).

The good news is that after 2 months of frustrating exercising which lead to no weight loss, I have finally lost some weight. I have miles to go before I sleep though and dreams of food will probably disturb my sleep anyway so hopefully the loss of sleep will assist in my endeavours to lose weight. Wish me luck and strength to keep this up. I assure you that I am not starving myself although I am eating only salad or soup for dinner almost everyday which among some communities may be referred to as starving oneself!

This is going to a be a year of discipline. 2006 will be etched in my memory as the first year of discipline in my life - discipline with respect to food may not last much longer given my hallucinations of deliciously deep fried food but discipline with respect to spending can already be seen by the fact that I have bought only 3 pairs of shoes this year! Surprising, isnt it? If thats not self-control and discipline, I dont know what is!!

Whatever Monthly

I am seriously considering changing the name of this blog from Whatevery Things to Whatever Monthly Things. Lets take a poll on this. Tell me what you think my lovely readers (not you Ma).

In my defence, all I can say is I have been busy. I had a surprise birthday party thrown for me which was just fabulous. So many people and so much alcohol (I think there was some food there as well) is always a good combination. The especially excellent part of the party was that everyone felt obliged to bring me a gift and hence many gifts were collected (the gifts of wine being consumed upon entering the home itself). Many glasses were broken and, in sheer frustration, it appears, our neighbour tried to get our attention by whacking our balcony by reaching across from his with a long wooden stick (probably a branch of a tree). We were informed of this only the day after when one of our friends mentioned a vague memory of being hit by a stick while he stood out to smoke.

The exciting thing about the surprise party was that it was more surprising for the guests to have me open the door for them in an increasingly flamboyant (and loud) fashion as the evening (and alcohol) wore on, screaming as the door opened - "SURPRISE!! I KNOW!!". My poor husband and Re felt awful that I was getting increasingly depressed at the idea of having nothing to do on my birthday. So while I was complaining that I was getting late at work (even my boss was roped into the whole act) and that I had no reason to complain about it since I didnt have anything to do on my birthday anyway... F felt awful and decided to tell me to get home immediately. Besides, they needed all the help they good get since they had called all 45 people we knew in the city (and some that we didnt)!

Photos of the madness can be seen here.

Thanks to F and Re for just being the best friends anyone can ask for!

I have also been tagged for a Meme and that shall be my next post.

Another Wedding

As mentioned in the previous post (which you probably did not read), I attended another very close friend's wedding in Delhi earlier this month. Now, going to Delhi is always fun and as usual I have stories to tell again. But before I do that, let me recount the 7 most favourite moments from the wedding for posterity -

1. The time the bride refused to remove the rather enormous looking hairdo even after the ceremony was over (and she had changed into her pyjamas!!)..
2. Butter-scotch ice-cream in the middle of the night..
3. The bride looking crest-fallen before the wedding ceremony as 2 bindis fell off her forehead..
4. Running to get kaleera's (for those of you who dont know, in Punjabi weddings the bride is given charms that are tied to her bangles as good wishes from close friends and family) at the last minute..
5. Mehendi..
6. Taking blurry photos (AGAIN), thus making me say to EVERYONE who posed for photos "err.. once more please... this one's a little blurry"...
7. Referring to P's friend by her sisters name, even after being corrected (repeatedly!)..

I also made a new friend in a 2 year old niece of the bride. Now you may think that 2 year olds are annoying and that was my opinion of them too (unless of course its a meeting of a few fleeting moments, in which case I ADORE 2 year olds). But this was a surprisingly mature 2 year old. She was able to understand and not throw a tantrum about why she could not go to the garden and play when a particular ceremony was on. Impressive. I am quite sure I would have thrown myself on the floor and demanded to be taken to the garden, if I was in her place. In fact, I would have held my breath till I was blue and then proceeded to scream my head off (much like what I do nowadays). Not only that, she actually liked me! Ah, finally a mature two-year-old who does not appear to want to sob uncontrollably at the sight of me (as is usual with such small people around me).

My mother also participated in the wedding by reprimanding people into eating the wonderful food at the wedding itself. Thankfully, she also made herself useful by relieving us of our duty of standing guard with the gifts in the room at the back when one particularly exciting bit of the wedding was going on. As we ran out, I was afraid my sari was going to become a part of the carpet by disintegrating and fortunately for me, that never happened. All in all, it was a brilliant wedding with the bride running helter-skelter organising everything and scolding everything into perfection.