Thursday, December 16, 2004

When I was very annoyed - Thankfully I never sent it!

Dear Insert-Name-of-Incompetent-Telecom-Customer-Service-Employee,

This is to inform you that the telephone instrument so graciously provided by you will, from now on, be lying outside my residence. I have realised that apart from taking up space, it is not performing any other function. Please eat that blasted phone that you have (for reasons unknown to me) installed in my house. If it was just about looting me of my money - no phone was required. You could have just taken my money and run.

Please keep my money and feel free to divide it amongst your completely inefficient colleagues as well.



Thursday, December 09, 2004


I feel exhausted like just tired in general. I have nothing funny to say and in fact, it appears, I have nothing in general to say. Except for the latest story from a day in my jet-setting consultant life.

I had to go to another part of the country which was just a few hours away on "client work" (ahem) and had summoned a driver to assist me with this effort. Unfortunately the driver that was summoned was at least 112 years old (and I am not exaggerating) and could not hear a damn thing. We found out, much to our dismay, that he could not see very well either. He did not hide either of these remarkably dangerous problems from us too well either - as he hunched forward to try to miss teetering the edge of the road while driving. Our regular screaming everytime he came close to killing us (every 7 nanoseconds for the 5 hours that was the journey) seemed to not startle him at all. What a calm and composed (albeit deaf and blind) driver I say.

A journey that would have ordinarily taken us 3 hours, took almost double that much time as we kept having to ask people which way to point the car at in order to get it to move (very very slowly) in the general direction of Mumbai. This of course, also reminds me that I am thinking of changing the "about me" bit on this blog, also very very slowly - much in line with the general scheme of things in my life it seems.

Twice, we were told to turn around 180 degrees so that we would reach Mumbai and not some other part of India to which our driver was determined to have us reach. Not only that, he wished for us to experience "rustic India" by missing the expressway by miles and taking us through the old highway. Now come on, I know it USED to be a road but we have an expressway now and in comparison, who are we kidding - that old highway aint no road hon! As far as I am concerned its just a clearing in the wilderness. It could also be that our driver was driving just off the road so we actually missed the road bit thus leading to my supremely arrogant city-bred notion of roads and non-roads.

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