Thursday, September 30, 2004

Onion breath

Have you ever wondered who was the first person to bite into an onion before it was decided that these items of food can be eaten? Somebody bit into it and thought, "Its yummy but it makes my breath smell. But thats okay really because like I said before, its yummy". I dont think that onions are yummy. If you were my brother you would detest them so much as to find the smallest sliver of onion, no matter how carefully sliced by the mother, and throw it in people's faces. As if to say - if you MUST tick me into eating onions, try to be subtle about it.

There are people I know, consultants in fact, who meet clients after lunch with mouthfuls of onion in salad form (read smelliest form). It is indeed a great surprise to find that these clients have stuck with us through an onslought of onion-breathing consultants from our firm. But the question remains - who started eating onions?


Monday, September 27, 2004

The 2 drink phenomenon

I am so cool after a couple of drinks. This is a scientifically proven fact. After many years of experimentation with alcohol (and sometimes even without alcohol) it has been comprehensively proved that I am uber-cool with a bit of alcoh0l in my systems. Suddenly I am really funny, able to walk up to people and make conversation with them. Sometimes, I even spit at them while talking (inadvertently, of course), which is funny and conversational at the same time.

However the distinction is 2 drinks. After 3 drinks, I am clearly out of the entertainer category and into the self-entertained and highly irritating category of party-goers. Naturally after almost three quarters of a bottle of wine and some additional food through dubious means at a club recently I noticed I was having a whale of a time and had no idea why. The next day was spent wondering why daylight existed and consuming copious amounts of water. Upon trying to remember what the jokes were, my brain refused to throw up any hilarity except for our tumbling along the road in hysterics towards the car at the end of the night.

However, I have noticed that this is a universal phenomenon. My friend, of tumbling-along-the-road-with-me fame, also had no recollection of why we were hysterical. Not so surprisingly, we both remembered having tears stream down our faces because we were laughing so hard. We were laughing so hard, we were inching along towards the car so slowly that the others had to wait as many as 12 minutes at the car waiting for us to get our acts together and in the car.

In other experiments, at brunch on another day, lack of alcohol made me stand around and search my brains for conversation with a seeming interesting person who designed bags for a living. Wittiness was a far cry when conversation itself seemed like such a task. I felt so shy - ah yes, that feeling I thought I had left behind in high-school along with that supremely ugly pair of glasses I wore. All I needed was 2 drinks - not more, not less.


Wednesday, September 15, 2004

How cool is this??

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
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